Dear Mother Nature,
GROW… UP. I’m sick and tired of your foolish games. I know it’s not nice to fool you, but whenever you fool us, you get away with it, and NOBODY got on their high horse and started bitching about it. First, you trick us with 70-degree weather on two days. Then, you hit us hard with a cold dose of reality… and I do mean cold. When is this s**t going to stop?!
Don’t get me wrong, we look forward to winter ’round Thanksgiving and thoughts of sugar plums were dancing in our heads. But we’ve put up with your relentless continuity of storms dumping as much as two feet of snow. After a long, cold winter, we need a reward. And how do you repay us? With yet another snow storm.
Well, enough is enough! Stop c**k-blocking me already. The ground is supposed to be green, not white. Spring is made for the outdoors, as well as barbecues. I for one cannot afford to be cooped up inside for another… month.
And as for YOU Old Man Winter, na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na, oh Hell yeah, Good-bye! And don’t come back till Thanksgiving.
Just what we need… more snow. And it’s still January at least until Monday. So far, we’ve at least 4 feet (yes, feet) of the powdery white stuff to date and the meteorological winter ends on February 28. One can only hope Punxsutawney Phil does NOT see his shadow come Wednesday morning — Groundhog Day for those of y’all keeping score — because our beloved state can’t afford six more hours of winter, let alone six more weeks. I’ll take the winter chill, but the snow has got to go.
Snow-mageddon. Snow-pocalypse. Snow-tastrophe. Call it what you want, but it is BRUTAL!!! The state got walloped with more than 12 inches of snow where some parts of the state received up to three feet. Naugatuck, a verrrry hilly town, bore the brunt of the storm, topping the 30-inch mark.
But we at Connecticut weren’t the only ones dealing with the snowy snarl. In Atlanta, the ice kept many travelers stranded at a Greyhound terminal. The slogan for Greyhound during the blizzard would be: Go Greyhound… unless the road looks like a freaking skating rink. We have to watch the temperatures for next week carefully. In 1977, the snow was so heavy on top of the Civic Center — now XL Center — that the roof collapsed when temperatures rose. The days leading up to Christmas in 2007 were greeted with the falling of ice on Central Row in downtown Hartford closing businesses on that street and rerouting CT Transit services around the accident.
As for today, I will consider myself snowed in. Don’t go out unless you really have to.
… um, I mean… early holiday, to be politically correct.
But the signs that Christmas is closer than you think could be right in you neck of the woods. In East Hartford, alone, the town center’s pilot lights are already getting decked out in Christmas provincial. Supermarkets and several CVS, RiteAid, and Walgreens stocking up on Christmas foods, such as egg nog, gingerbread, and *shudders* fruitcake have had to sell out the Halloween candy IMMEDIATELY.
And let’s not forget about the first snow first seen in the Litchfield Hills, because when I think snow, I think Christmas. Like I said earlier, Lewis Black is plumb furious that Christmas is getting longer and longer.
When I was a kid, Halloween was Halloween, and Santa wasn’t poking his ass into it! And Thanksgiving was it’s own holiday.
But we can’t call it Thanksgiving no more. It is now “Christmas Halftime,” as Lew would put it. I bet the malls across the country are going to be a bunch of madhouses come the wee hours of November 26 a.k.a. BLAAAAACKKKK FRIIII-DAAAAAAAY!!!!! *maniacal laughter* I personally would steer clear of the malls on that day after Thanksgiving due to the fear of being trampled to death by a horde of frantic early-bird shoppers. I mean who gets up at 3:00 a.m.?
Is it just me or does Mother Nature like to play tricks on us? So far in Connecticut, the beginning greeted us with temperatures well into the 80s and 90s. Then, as the month progresses, it had all gone downhill from here. Now we’re dealing with frost warnings, rainy conditions, and an uptake on heating costs. Um, this is May, and I don’t see no flowers… yet. And the flowers that did blossom are subject to withering.
In Colorado, they’re getting snow — yes, snow — with potential for freeze warnings. Like I said, this is May. We’re supposed to be wearing flip-flops, not flannel, and it is (or should I say was) snowing in Colorado. Is anybody home!? But fret not, fellow Nutmeggers — there’s light at the end of the tunnel. The weekend is looking nice with temps in the low to mid 70s.
Spring training with the Bronx Bombers is nice (that mean’s looking right). March is fast approaching. Getting ready for another season. Let the rivalry/ies begin!
One question though, with the Mariano Rivera and Derek Jeter’s contracts expiring soon, why won’t the Yankees just re-sign them now and stop playing around? Why wait until the contracts have expired? Plus, Chamberlain is doing what he does best — getting the Joba done! (Inside joke) 🙂 Would be nice to see Jeets go for 3,000 hits, but it would break my heart if he were in another uniform.
As all y’all know….today is Mardi Gras. In New Orleans, white has taken over the traditional colors of Mardi Gras: purple, green, and gold. Give Vancouver some snow ’cause we don’t want it no more!
A mistletoe for you and your beau (or belle).
We told you winter is coming. And that’s okay, because it is beginning to look a lot like Christmas — sorta. And what better way to celebrate the tidings of the holiday season than some fresh fallen snow? Although we didn’t get much of the white stuff, we’ll take it anyway.
Then there’s Christmas foods. Like eggnog, gingerbread cookies, candy canes, fudge, and the like. And then there’s fruitcake — which nobody fuckin’ likes (excuse my French). You may want to think twice before giving someone a fruitcake. Fruitcake, by the by, is neither fruit nor cake but a loaf full of sugar and fat designed by the Antichrist of the baking industry.