Cold Shoulder

Dear Mother Nature,

GROW… UP. I’m sick and tired of your foolish games. I know it’s not nice to fool you, but whenever you fool us, you get away with it, and NOBODY got on their high horse and started bitching about it. First, you trick us with 70-degree weather on two days. Then, you hit us hard with a cold dose of reality… and I do mean cold. When is this s**t going to stop?!

Don’t get me wrong, we look forward to winter ’round Thanksgiving and thoughts of sugar plums were dancing in our heads. But we’ve put up with your relentless continuity of storms dumping as much as two feet of snow. After a long, cold winter, we need a reward. And how do you repay us? With yet another snow storm.

Well, enough is enough! Stop c**k-blocking me already. The ground is supposed to be green, not white. Spring is made for the outdoors, as well as barbecues. I for one cannot afford to be cooped up inside for another… month.

And as for YOU Old Man Winter, na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na, oh Hell yeah, Good-bye! And don’t come back till Thanksgiving.


Winter-weary Citizen


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