I’m under arrest for what?
Some laws have a merit in our society, and that merit is to make us safer. For example, there’s the “Click it or Ticket” law — you’d better have a seatbelt on when you’re inside the vehicle or it’s a $92 ticket (up from $37). But there are some laws that, um, are just plain silly. While some brown-noser wouldn’t dare rat on me for crossing the street while walking on my hands in Hartford, Connecticut, or I forget to tie up my elephant at a parking meter in Florida, one cannot be too careful… or can we?
Alabama — It’s illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church.
Alaska — You may not wake a sleeping bear for the sake of taking a photograph.
Arizona — Cutting down a cactus may result in a 25-year prison sentence.
Arkansas — Keeping an alligator in your bathtub is prohibited.
California — You may not eat an orange in your bathtub.
Colorado — It’s illegal to ride a horse under the influence.
Connecticut — You may not cross the street while walking on your hands (Hartford).
Delaware — It’s against the law to fly over any body of water, unless the plane is carrying sufficient supplies of food and drink.
Florida — If you tie an elephant to a parking meter, you must pay the same parking fee as you would for a vehicle.
Georgia — No one may carry an ice cream cone in their back pocket on Sunday.
Hawaii — It’s illegal to place a coin in your ear.
Idaho — A man must not give his sweetheart a box of candy weighing less than 50 pounds.
Illinois — It’s illegal to fly a kite within the city limits (Chicago).
Indiana — Grocery stores may not sell any type of cold liquor.
Iowa — A man with a moustache is prohibited from kissing a woman in public, even his wife.
Kansas — You may not catch a fish with your bare hands.
Kentucky — Every citizen is required to take a shower once a year.
Louisiana — Biting someone with your natural teeth is simple assault, while biting someone with your false teeth is aggravated assault.
Maine — If you keep your Christmas decorations up after January 14, you’ll be fined.
Maryland — City code prohibits the sale of chicks and ducklings to minors within one week of the Easter holiday (Baltimore).
Massachusetts — All men must carry a rifle to church on Sunday.
Michigan — A woman isn’t allowed to cut her own hair without her husband’s permission.
Minnesota — Public ordinance outlaws placing tacks on a sidewalk (Minnetonka).
Mississippi — It’s forbidden for a man to seduce a woman by lying, and claiming he will marry her.
Missouri — Although children may buy shotguns in Kansas City, the purchase of toy cap guns is prohibited.
Montana — No worrying of squirrels is allowed (Excelsior Springs).
Nebraska — If a child burps during church, his or her parents may be arrested.
Nevada — You may not drive a camel on the highway.
New Hampshire — You may not sell the clothes you’re wearing to pay off a gambling debt.
New Jersey — It’s forbidden to frown on a police officer.
New Mexico — Females may not appear unshaven in public.
New York — Flirting in public can earn you a $25 fine.
North Carolina — It’s against the law to sing off-key.
North Dakota — It’s illegal to fall asleep with your shoes on.
Ohio — The state’s driver’s education manual states that you must honk the horn when you pass another car.
Oklahoma — It’s against the law to take a bite out of another person’s hamburger.
Oregon — You may not pump your own gas.
Pennsylvania — It’s illegal to sleep on top of a refrigerator outdoors.
Rhode Island — Biting off another person’s leg will not be tolerated.
South Carolina — You may not eat a watermelon in the Magnolia Street cemetery (Spartanburg).
South Dakota — No horses are allowed into Fountain Inn unless they’re wearing pants.
Tennessee — You’re not allowed to share a pie with your fellow diners (Memphis).
Texas — It’s illegal to milk another person’s cow.
Utah — It is illegal NOT to drink milk.
Vermont — Women may not wear false teeth without her husband’s written permission.
Virginia — It is illegal to drive while not wearing shoes.
Washington — It is forbidden to buy meat of any kind on Sunday.
West Virginia — If you make fun of someone who does not accept a challenge, you risk a six-month prison sentence.
Wisconsin — Margarine may not be substituted for butter in restaurants unless the customer requests it.
Wyoming — Using a firearm to fish is strictly prohibited.