Monthly Archives: June 2010

Hmmm…. Something Smells Funny

These are real fragrances — you heard me, real — that have some questionable scents and are sold on the market. Try not to get sick. ūüėČ

 

Burger King Whopper:
Pleased to meat you! *laughs* Inside joke… but seriously, this scent¬†bears the essence of flamed broiled meat. You are what you eat, or in this case, wear.

Play-Doh:
Are you effing kidding me?! Play-Doh has a fragrance!?! Maybe I need to stop smoking that reefer, but this is ridiculous! Sure, if you want to smell like sandbox and snacktime, that’s your business.

Earthworm:
Strange… I had no idea earthworms had a smell.

Sushi:
Sashimi-grade tuna and seaweed, sweeeeeeet. Just steer clear of the shark! Anyhoo, sushi is classy, yet awkward. Looks like your California roll just rolled back to California!

 

Frozen Pond:
Pond scum? POND SCUM!?!?!? You know what’s worse than pond scum? When it’s a pond scum in the wintertime. Nothing like the smell of algae and lichens to liven the mood on a crisp January morn.

Earthquake in Ontario?

Courtesy: Associated Press.

Think earthquakes only happen on the West Coast? Think again. A 5.0 magnitude earthquake rocked Canada at the Ontario-Quebec border today. Its aftershocks not only slightly affected Chicago, New York City, and Pittsburgh, but they can be felt as far away as Rhode Island.

No one was hurt or killed during the earthquake at this time, but, according to CBS News, you can see many evacuating buildings in Toronto and Ottawa. Make no mistake, we need to take each earthquake seriously, even at a paltry 1.0 magnitude.

Schools Today and Their Crazy Bans…

While I’m on the subject of “S**t You Can’t Make Up,” schools across the country are putting the kibosh on, of all things, Silly Bandz. No, seriously, your child can no longer bring Silly Bandz to school. The latest craze in kids’ fashion has become a total distraction to the teachers and instructors. The schools already banned dodgeball because it forces the strong to target the weak (I learned that from Greg Girald0). Some banned hugging and hi-fiving. Even in the school system in Danvers, Massachusetts students are prohibited from saying the word “meep.” Are you effing kidding me? “Meep,” of all words in the Engl– well, computer world language, is offensive?! Not for nothing, but you stuffed shirts need to stop cowering under your desks. Grow a friggin’ brain, stupid!

And now the schools are trying to ban Father’s Day. That’s right, your kid can not make Dad a Father’s Day card. It is offensive to kids with single moms. What’s this world coming to? I’m glad I don’t have to go to grade/high school no more, but pity on the poor little¬†saps who are gonna have to deal with the¬†draconian conduct that has befallen upon them.

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More ShopRites to Come…

Shaw’s Supermarket is now…

Surprised? Don’t be. So far, the former Shaw’s locations in Canton and Enfield had already opened as ShopRites respectively. The new East Hartford location (in the Putnam Bridge Plaza, just north of the Glastonbury town line) will be next in line.

Stupid Laws in 50 States

I’m under arrest for what?

Some laws have¬†a merit in our society, and that merit is to make us safer. For example, there’s¬†the “Click it or Ticket” law — you’d better have a seatbelt on when you’re inside the vehicle or it’s a $92 ticket (up from $37). But there are some laws that, um, are just plain silly. While some brown-noser wouldn’t dare rat on me for crossing the street while walking on my hands in Hartford, Connecticut, or¬†I forget to tie up my elephant at a parking meter in Florida, one cannot be too careful… or can we?

Alabama — It’s illegal to wear a fake moustache¬†that causes¬†laughter in church.

Alaska — You may not wake a sleeping bear for the sake of taking a photograph.

Arizona — Cutting down a cactus may result in a 25-year prison sentence.

Arkansas — Keeping an alligator in¬†your bathtub is prohibited.

California — You may not eat an orange in your bathtub.

Colorado — It’s illegal to ride a horse under the influence.

Connecticut —¬†You may not cross¬†the street while walking on your hands (Hartford).

Delaware — It’s against the law to fly over any body of water, unless the plane is carrying sufficient supplies of food and drink.

Florida — If you tie an elephant to a parking meter, you must pay the same parking fee as you would for a vehicle.

Georgia —¬†No one may¬†carry an ice cream cone in¬†their back pocket on Sunday.

Hawaii — It’s illegal to place a coin in your ear.

Idaho — A man must not give his sweetheart a box of candy weighing less than 50 pounds.

Illinois — It’s illegal to fly a kite within the city limits (Chicago).

Indiana — Grocery stores may not sell any type of cold liquor.

Iowa — A man with a moustache is prohibited from kissing a woman in public, even his wife.

Kansas — You may not catch a fish with your bare hands.

Kentucky — Every citizen is required to take a shower once¬†a year.

Louisiana — Biting someone with your natural teeth is simple assault, while biting someone with your false teeth is aggravated assault.

Maine — If you keep your Christmas decorations up after January 14, you’ll be fined.

Maryland — City code prohibits the sale of chicks and ducklings to minors¬†within one week of the Easter holiday (Baltimore).

Massachusetts — All men must carry a rifle to church on Sunday.

Michigan — A woman isn’t allowed to cut her own hair without her husband’s permission.

Minnesota — Public ordinance outlaws placing tacks on a sidewalk (Minnetonka).

Mississippi — It’s forbidden for a man to seduce a woman by lying, and claiming he will marry her.

Missouri — Although children may buy shotguns in Kansas City, the purchase of toy cap guns is prohibited.

Montana — No worrying of squirrels is allowed (Excelsior Springs).

Nebraska — If a child burps during church, his or her parents may be arrested.

Nevada — You may not drive a camel on the highway.

New Hampshire —¬†You¬†may not¬†sell the clothes you‚Äôre wearing to pay off a gambling debt.

New Jersey — It’s forbidden to frown on a police officer.

New Mexico — Females may not appear unshaven in public.

New York — Flirting¬†in public can¬†earn you a $25 fine.

North Carolina — It‚Äôs against the law to sing off-key.

North Dakota — It’s illegal to fall asleep with your shoes on.

Ohio — The state’s driver’s education manual states that you must honk the horn when you pass another car.

Oklahoma — It’s against the law to take a bite out of another person’s hamburger.

Oregon — You may not pump your own gas.

Pennsylvania — It‚Äôs illegal to sleep on top of a refrigerator outdoors.

Rhode Island — Biting off another person’s leg will not be tolerated.

South Carolina — You may not eat a watermelon in the Magnolia Street cemetery (Spartanburg).

South Dakota — No horses are allowed into Fountain Inn unless they’re wearing pants.

Tennessee — You’re not allowed to share a pie with your fellow diners (Memphis).

Texas — It’s illegal to milk another person’s cow.

Utah — It is¬†illegal NOT to drink milk.

Vermont¬†— Women may not wear false teeth without her husband’s written permission.

Virginia — It is¬†illegal to drive while not wearing shoes.

Washington — It is forbidden to buy meat of any kind on Sunday.

West Virginia — If you make fun of someone who does not accept a challenge, you risk a six-month prison sentence.

Wisconsin — Margarine may not be substituted for butter in restaurants unless the customer requests it.

Wyoming — Using a firearm to fish is strictly prohibited.

BK Ribs Sold Out

Oh nooooooooooooo! The Burger King started selling¬†barbecue pork ribs just north of $7 for an eight-piece pack early last week. Unfortunately, the ribs have gotten so popular over the past couple of weeks that — get this — that Burger King has sold out of them. Shocking, I know.

The supply cannot keep up with the consumer demand of these hot-of-the-grill delicacies. Therefore, Burger King may end up winding down the rib campaign sooner than expected. Even in a recession like this, people are willing to spend over $7 to give the BK ribs a go. Ain’t that something?

Blogoversary

Boy, does time fly fast! Today is my blog’s first anniversa… um, birthday…. or what have you. I have to say that WordPress has been so good to me. Without it, I wouldn’t be nothing.

So, Happy Birthday to um… my blog!