“Imagine” Cain Style

Before you judge too quickly, that IS Herman Cain, one of eight Republican candidates for the 2012 Presidential Election trying to unseat President Barack Obama. He pulled a John Lennon with his own variation of “Imagine” using pizza. Mind you, he is the president of Godfather’s Pizza in Georgia. Take a listen.

BTW I’d like mine with extra cheese… if you please.

Gourd Picker

A “Gold Digger” parody, just in time for fall. Sorry, Kanye.

He pick them pumpkins
In fields of green
Yeah, he’s a harvesting machine
Oh, he’s a gourd picker
Straight from the town
Of Chicopee

(He pick them pumpkins) I ain’t hatin’ on the gourd pickers
(In fields of green) But it’s gotta get to my store quicker
(He pick them pumpkins) I ain’t hatin’ on the gourd pickers
(In fields of green) But it’s gotta get to my store quicker
(Fields of green) Get the pumpkins off the ground
(Fields of green) Get the pumpkins into town
(Fields of green) Get the pumpkins off the ground
(Fields of Green) Get the pumpkins in here

Thirteen weeks, thirteen weeks
They been plantin’ them pumpkins for thirteen weeks
I know somebody payin’ top dollar to rake all his leaves
The biggest gourd in town, well, is probably his
You will see ’em in the market every October
Hauled by a trucker that’s barely been sober
He was supposed to drink some apple cider on that Monday
He got all lit up drunk like nitro on that Monday
He walkin’ around lookin’ like Psycho on that Monday
Shoulda’ got that gourd that’s ripened on that Monday (Monday)
If you like Halloween, holler we want pumpkins
WE WANT PUMPKINS, Yeah!
They’re really good for makin’ pies
Both for girls and guys, better recognize
Thirteen weeks, thirteen weeks
Come Thanksgiving day, I’m havin’ orange cheeks

(He pick them pumpkins) I ain’t hatin’ on the gourd pickers
(In fields of green) But it’s gotta get to my store quicker
(He pick them pumpkins) I ain’t hatin’ on the gourd pickers
(In fields of green) But it’s gotta get to my store quicker
(Fields of green) Get the pumpkins off the ground
(Fields of green) Get the pumpkins into town
(Fields of green) Get the pumpkins off the ground
(Fields of Green) Get the pumpkins in here

I ain’t hatin’ on the gourd pickers, no sirree
You want to carve a gourd, but them knives ain’t free
You got out to your front lawn, there’s the leaves
There’s logs in the back, you gotta use ’em this week
But while it’s chilly, watch ’em
They gon’ fall off the branch like they did in Boston
It’s autumn tradition, baby, see with your eyes
In lieu of changin’ winds,  it’s all in the skies
So, let’s realize
That pumpkins come callin’ at discount price
And they gon’ keep rollin’ and flyin’
All day and night-er
And that autumn chill will leave you runnin’ for that cider
(Fields of green) Get the pumpkins off the ground
(Fields of green) Get the pumpkins into town
(Fields of green) Get the pumpkins off the ground
(Fields of Green) Get the pumpkins in town
Let me hear that, Jack?

They Paid What?

The Row backpack.

It is still early in the back-to-school season, and what better way to go back to school — in style, no less — than a $39,000 backpack from The Row, once owned by Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen?

Yes, you heard right. 39,000 bones.

Here’s the thing. Who in their right mind would spend $39,000 of their hard earned money to buy a backpack, knowing they can’t afford it? True, it’s made of alligator skin (or was it crocodile?) and it originally sells for $35,000. But when it breaks the bank, it REALLY breaks the bank. I ain’t never going to bitch about the cost of a Gucci murse, that’s for sure.

The Row’s backpack has been on the market since July, and not even the Olsen twins can keep up with the demand. But here’s the kicker. The economy’s in the toilet, approximately 1 in 10 people can’t find a job, and we’re dealing with not one, but two wars in the Middle East. For the love of Pete, light a fire already so people can start working again. And afford to buy the haute couture.

Worth Fall-ing For

Ahhh... Fall

Apple cider. Fairs. Pumpkins and their pies. That nip in the air. All those could mean only one thing: it’s Fall.

It is difficult to appreciate the fall season as winter and summer get all the attention. In stores, the Ben & Jerry’s Pumpkin Cheesecake are well in stock. Dunkin’ Donuts wants you to fall for the fall favorites like the hot or iced apple cider and their pumpkin variety such as pumpkin latte.  And since it’s October, they’re selling pumpkin…  whatevers like hotcakes. They’ll even sell those through Thanksgiving.

But the one question that’s been burning in my mind: Why do they call it Oktoberfest if it happens in September?