The Devil Went Down to… Florida?

Here is my parody of the Charlie Daniels Band’s “The Devil Went Down to Georgia,” just in time for the 2012 election.

The Devil went down to Florida, he was lookin’ for some votes to steal
He was in a bind, ’cause he’s lost his mind
And was willing to make a deal
Then he came across this young man
Saw him at the pole booth and makin’ it right
Then the Devil jumped upon the fifty-foot humps and said “Boy, let me tell you what.
I guess you didn’t know this, but I’m a votin’ maven too
But, kid, I fear this ‘lection here might get the best of you
Now you done been eatin’ your Skittles, boy, but give the Devil his due
I’d bet 180 votes against your pol ’cause I think mine’s better for you.”
Johnny said, “I am a liberal, and it might be a sin
But you shall regret the biggest one yet, ’cause my candidate’s gonna win”

John Q. Voter rocked the poles and fought this battle hard
Cause hell’s broke loose in Florida and our country’s got some heart
And if we win, you’ll get this precious country full of gold
And if we lose, you’re gonna get Rick-Rolled!

The devil looked him up his face and said, “Let’s start this show.”
As fire in his eyelids had quickly started to grow
Then the devil grew an evil look whenever he got pissed
And a band of daemons joined in and it sounded something like this

When the Devil finished, Johnny said, “Well, you’re pretty good, ol’ son.
Now get from behind them poles right there, I’mma show you how it’s done”
Fire on the Mountain off Route 1
The Devil’s in the house of the rising sun
Sittin’ in the kitchen, countin’ out votes
Granny, can you dog drive? No, child, no

The Devil finally would cave in and take his big defeat
When he’d realized his candidate already had been beat
Johnny said, “Devil, just come on back if you ever want to try again
Or then just give up, you son of a bitch, ’cause the best’ll forever win.”

He played: Fire on the Mountain off Route 1
The Devil’s in the house of the rising sun
Sittin’ in the kitchen, countin’ out votes
Granny, can your dog drive? No, child, no

CL&P? OMG!

What we’re now learning from this pre-season winter storm — mind you, it wasn’t even November yet — we should have learned from Tropical Storm Irene. And by we,  I mean the good folks at Connecticut Light and Power. While they were aware of the trees that are too close to power lines, they didn’t do crap about that situation.

The towns that didn’t take the brunt of Tropical Storm Irene were felled by Winter Storm Alfred. The cause? Trees. Shitloads of trees in our great state. The freak winter storm occurred one weekend ago, on the heels of Halloween. While the leaves were still on the trees, and we’d have a somewhat mild autumn season and too much moisture and precipitation, the storm came crashing in like an uninvited guest we kicked out, telling him to go away. What we need to realize is we’ve pissed off Mother Nature one too many times, and at some point, we’re going to have to face the consequences.

If you can remember back in late August/early September after Irene, you will understand why trees are the problem with the power lines. One sudden impact with the trees can knock out power for hundreds of thousands. If it wasn’t the heavy rains that damage the trees, it was the wind gusts of over 50 miles per hour. That being said, New London was more likely to receive wind damage and Colebrook was more likely to experience heavy downpours.

CL&P President Jeff Butler promised to put 99 percent of its customers back online by tonight at midnight, but like the rest of us in Connecticut, Gov. Dannel Malloy seemed skeptical. With about 100,000 customers still without power and, in some cases, without heat, CL&P is going to have to work extra fast to reach that 99-percent target, and Gov. Malloy will be pushing him to ensure that that happens. So the rule of thumb is, if you still are without power as of 10 a.m. today, hang in there because help is on the way.