Tag Archives: Christmas

It’s Just a Cup

The dreaded red cup. Yes, that cup.

Starbucks Cup for Holiday 2015.

Starbucks Cup for Holiday 2015.

It has sparked controversy for the wrong reasons. In fact, it has blown up my social feed for the past 48 hours. Reason? Starbucks has decided to drop the “Merry Christmas” tagline from all of their red cups.

Their goal is to attract — rather than alienate — their fan base, particularly during the Holidays. I said Holidays — Christmas ain’t the only holiday people celebrate in December. Don’t forget the fact there’s also Hanukkah, Festivus, Kwanzaa, Boxing Day and Eid just to name a few.  As a Christian, it pains me to say that the people crying War on Christmas have gone too far.

Here’s the deal…. it’s just a dang cup, Jack. Stop getting so worked up about it. Or kvetching, as a few Jewish friends would call it. We get it. You want to put the “Christ” back into “Christmas.” But you’re not going to get there by complaining about a red cup. I bet the red cup had no more to do with Christmas than chestnuts roasting on an open fire. (Just saying)

Solution: suck it up and embrace the difference among society as a whole. Maybe then, and only then, people will take Christmas as seriously as you do. Love. One. Another. Now is that so hard?

“Merry Christmas” vs “Happy Holidays”

Courtesy: Worcester (MA) Telegram & Gazette.

In this day and age of political correctness, you’ve really got  to watch what you say (or do for that matter).

The days of the “Merry Christmas” moniker are now over. True, as a Christian, I celebrate Christmas, but there are other religions — Chanukah, for example is a Jewish holiday pertaining to the 8-day menorah lighting. There’s also Eid al-Fitr — celebrated by the Muslim world. Kwanzaa, on the other hand, is the only non-religious holiday to be celebrated in December.

Santa Claus may be comin’ to town to all the good Christian children, but Jewish children and Muslim children and children of other religions feel left out. As a result, we can no longer say “Merry Christmas.” It’s “Happy Holidays” now. But let’s be honest — have we ever said “Merry Christmas”? If so, who gets offended by Santa Claus?

There’s an iPod-ful of Christmas carols that fill the airwaves and get you in the holiday spirit. That is, if you’re into that. As for me, I got fa-la-la-la-la comin’ out my ying-yang. But because there so many Christmas carols out there and to give Jewish kids something to celebrate during Chanukah, Adam Sandler developed three different variations of “The Chanukah Song.”

No matter what the season, there is always a reason to be politically correct. But political correctness needs to have its limits.

Louise Stole My Dog

It’s that time of year again! Christmas. Hanukkah. Kwanzaa. Take your pick. Well, here is a parody of “Feliz Navidad (I Want to Wish You a Merry Christmas)” by José Feliciano. Enjoy!

Louise stole my dog
Louise stoel my dog
Louise stole my dog
‘Cause I saw him riding in her brand new car
Louise stole my dog
Louise stoel my dog
Louise stole my dog
‘Cause I saw him riding in her brand new car

I won’t get to see him for Christmas
I wonder how much he’ll really miss us
I won’t get to see him for Christmas
And I think it’s so messed up
I won’t get to see him for Christmas
Not for all the hugs and kisses
I won’t get to see him for Christmas
And it really piss me off

Louise stole my dog
Louise stole my dog
Louise stole my dog
‘Cause I saw him riding in her brand new car
Louise stole my dog
Louise stole my dog
Louise stole my dog
‘Cause I saw him riding in her brand new car

I know he’s gonna miss our Christmas
Why’d she ever have to diss us?
He’s really gonna miss this Christmas
And it really makes me sad
I won’t get to see him for Christmas
Neither will the kids or missus
He’s really gonna miss this Christmas
I think that woman has gone mad

Louise stole my dog
Louise stole my dog
Louise stole my dog
When I saw him riding in her brand new car.

Very, Very, Very, Early Christmas

… um, I mean… early holiday, to be politically correct.

But the signs that Christmas is closer than you think could be right in you neck of the woods. In East Hartford, alone, the town center’s pilot lights are already getting decked out in Christmas provincial. Supermarkets and several CVS, RiteAid, and Walgreens stocking up on Christmas foods, such as egg nog, gingerbread, and *shudders* fruitcake have had to sell out the Halloween candy IMMEDIATELY.

And let’s not forget about the first snow first seen in the Litchfield Hills, because when I think snow, I think Christmas. Like I said earlier, Lewis Black is plumb furious that Christmas is getting longer and longer.

When I was a kid, Halloween was Halloween, and Santa wasn’t poking his ass into it! And Thanksgiving was it’s own holiday.

But we can’t call it Thanksgiving no more. It is now “Christmas Halftime,” as Lew would put it. I bet the malls across the country are going to be a bunch of madhouses come the wee hours of November 26 a.k.a. BLAAAAACKKKK FRIIII-DAAAAAAAY!!!!! *maniacal laughter* I personally would steer clear of the malls on that day after Thanksgiving due to the fear of being trampled to death by a horde of frantic early-bird shoppers. I mean who gets up at 3:00 a.m.?

‘Tis the Season

A mistletoe for you and your beau (or belle).

We told you winter is coming. And that’s okay, because it is beginning to look a lot like Christmas — sorta. And what better way to celebrate the tidings of the holiday season than some fresh fallen snow? Although we didn’t get much of the white stuff, we’ll take it anyway.

Then there’s Christmas foods. Like eggnog, gingerbread cookies, candy canes, fudge, and the like. And then there’s fruitcake — which nobody fuckin’ likes (excuse my French). You may want to think twice before giving someone a fruitcake. Fruitcake, by the by, is neither fruit nor cake but a loaf full of sugar and fat designed by the Antichrist of the baking industry.

November for Thanksgiving, not Christmas

Tom the Turkey will have to find another job this month; Santa Claus is coming to town.

November is made for Thanksgiving….not Christmas. Thanksgiving is the day that families gathered and you get to pig out on some bangin’ food — turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, carrots, and the like. If you eat enough turkey, you might slip into a turkey coma so you don’t want to do shit for the rest of the week.

But those days are loooooong gooooooone. You might think the Christmas shopping season started on Halloween and you’d be wrong. It actually started, according to comedian Lewis Black, on July 7th. Unbeknownst to us, Santa Claus looked at Tom the Turkey and went, “I’ll take it from here. Ho-ho-ho! I love Thanksgiving, but Christmas is better! No hard feelings, huh?” In fact, Christmas has gotten so long, it knocked Halloween right off the calendar. If we’re not careful., Columbus Day could be next.

Then there’s Black Friday — the day after Thanksgiving. Millions and millions make camp outside the mall just to get the greatest deals. I’d like to call Black Friday “The Running of the Bulls Day,” and yes, there will be blood.