Category Archives: IN-Decision 2012

It’s the Cocktail Party!!!

Makers Mark

There is no east coast/west coast. No Democrat party or Republican party. No black, white, Asian, Latino, etc. Quite frankly, I was flummoxed to learn that Mary Matalin and James Carville were married, as Matalin is the Republican and Carville the Democrat. In the Cocktail Party — courtesy of our friends at Makers Mark (straight Kentucky bourbon, y’all) — everyone come together.

Party differences aside, the Cocktail Party is for everyone, and Carville and Matalin would like to invite you.

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The Devil Went Down to… Florida?

Here is my parody of the Charlie Daniels Band’s “The Devil Went Down to Georgia,” just in time for the 2012 election.

The Devil went down to Florida, he was lookin’ for some votes to steal
He was in a bind, ’cause he’s lost his mind
And was willing to make a deal
Then he came across this young man
Saw him at the pole booth and makin’ it right
Then the Devil jumped upon the fifty-foot humps and said “Boy, let me tell you what.
I guess you didn’t know this, but I’m a votin’ maven too
But, kid, I fear this ‘lection here might get the best of you
Now you done been eatin’ your Skittles, boy, but give the Devil his due
I’d bet 180 votes against your pol ’cause I think mine’s better for you.”
Johnny said, “I am a liberal, and it might be a sin
But you shall regret the biggest one yet, ’cause my candidate’s gonna win”

John Q. Voter rocked the poles and fought this battle hard
Cause hell’s broke loose in Florida and our country’s got some heart
And if we win, you’ll get this precious country full of gold
And if we lose, you’re gonna get Rick-Rolled!

The devil looked him up his face and said, “Let’s start this show.”
As fire in his eyelids had quickly started to grow
Then the devil grew an evil look whenever he got pissed
And a band of daemons joined in and it sounded something like this

When the Devil finished, Johnny said, “Well, you’re pretty good, ol’ son.
Now get from behind them poles right there, I’mma show you how it’s done”
Fire on the Mountain off Route 1
The Devil’s in the house of the rising sun
Sittin’ in the kitchen, countin’ out votes
Granny, can you dog drive? No, child, no

The Devil finally would cave in and take his big defeat
When he’d realized his candidate already had been beat
Johnny said, “Devil, just come on back if you ever want to try again
Or then just give up, you son of a bitch, ’cause the best’ll forever win.”

He played: Fire on the Mountain off Route 1
The Devil’s in the house of the rising sun
Sittin’ in the kitchen, countin’ out votes
Granny, can your dog drive? No, child, no

“Imagine” Cain Style

Before you judge too quickly, that IS Herman Cain, one of eight Republican candidates for the 2012 Presidential Election trying to unseat President Barack Obama. He pulled a John Lennon with his own variation of “Imagine” using pizza. Mind you, he is the president of Godfather’s Pizza in Georgia. Take a listen.

BTW I’d like mine with extra cheese… if you please.

Follow You on What?

This is yet another item in the “S**t You Can’t Make Up” file.

Texas Gov. Rick Perry has been eying for the 2012 presidential campaign since Fox News, CNN, and MSNBC has been talking about it, even before we rang in 2011. Though he meant “Twitter,” he reminded the conservatives that “you can always follow me on Tweeter.”

Two things. One: Tweeter, by the by, is the appliance store if you grew up in New England like me.  And two: who CAN’T you follow on Twitter? Passing notes in class is so 20th century.