Tag Archives: Halloween

5 Halloween Treats Every Kid HATES

Halloween will be here before you know it. And with Halloween comes candy giving… a group of youngsters come to you doorstep and squeal “Trick or treat!” Little does the kid know, he’d get something in his goodie bag other than candy like — gasp! — an open candy or, God forbid, a razor blade. Well, here are five Halloween treats every kid HATES. Now pay attention!

Fruits, such as apples and oranges: Seriously? Fruits qualify as treats any other day of the week, but not on Halloween. This is merely a trick rather than a treat.

Anything black licorice: Blecch!! I HATED it when I was a kid — it was horrible! I might as well have been eating frickin’ root beer as far as I’m concerned. And don’t get me started with Good & Plenty. What was it plenty of, licorice?!

Toothbrushes: Again, seriously???? Face it: kids love Halloween, dentists don’t. But come on…. it’s Halloween! Not National Piss Off Your Dentist Day!! Aaaaaugh!!! And what kid DOESN’T freaking hate a toothbrush as a Halloween treat?! “I’d LOVE to get a toothbrush for Halloween,” said no kid ever.

Raisins: Garfield the Cat hated them no matter what day of the year it is. Kids hate it on Halloween. This falls under the healthy category along with fruits. Ooooh let’s give the kids dried fruit — they’re gonna consume all that sugar anyway.

Circus peanuts: They do NOT taste like peanut butter despite being shaped as a peanut. They taste like disappointment — sugar coated disappointment.  You’re better off giving Junior a bag of peanuts.

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CL&P? OMG!

What we’re now learning from this pre-season winter storm — mind you, it wasn’t even November yet — we should have learned from Tropical Storm Irene. And by we,  I mean the good folks at Connecticut Light and Power. While they were aware of the trees that are too close to power lines, they didn’t do crap about that situation.

The towns that didn’t take the brunt of Tropical Storm Irene were felled by Winter Storm Alfred. The cause? Trees. Shitloads of trees in our great state. The freak winter storm occurred one weekend ago, on the heels of Halloween. While the leaves were still on the trees, and we’d have a somewhat mild autumn season and too much moisture and precipitation, the storm came crashing in like an uninvited guest we kicked out, telling him to go away. What we need to realize is we’ve pissed off Mother Nature one too many times, and at some point, we’re going to have to face the consequences.

If you can remember back in late August/early September after Irene, you will understand why trees are the problem with the power lines. One sudden impact with the trees can knock out power for hundreds of thousands. If it wasn’t the heavy rains that damage the trees, it was the wind gusts of over 50 miles per hour. That being said, New London was more likely to receive wind damage and Colebrook was more likely to experience heavy downpours.

CL&P President Jeff Butler promised to put 99 percent of its customers back online by tonight at midnight, but like the rest of us in Connecticut, Gov. Dannel Malloy seemed skeptical. With about 100,000 customers still without power and, in some cases, without heat, CL&P is going to have to work extra fast to reach that 99-percent target, and Gov. Malloy will be pushing him to ensure that that happens. So the rule of thumb is, if you still are without power as of 10 a.m. today, hang in there because help is on the way.

Gourd Picker

A “Gold Digger” parody, just in time for fall. Sorry, Kanye.

He pick them pumpkins
In fields of green
Yeah, he’s a harvesting machine
Oh, he’s a gourd picker
Straight from the town
Of Chicopee

(He pick them pumpkins) I ain’t hatin’ on the gourd pickers
(In fields of green) But it’s gotta get to my store quicker
(He pick them pumpkins) I ain’t hatin’ on the gourd pickers
(In fields of green) But it’s gotta get to my store quicker
(Fields of green) Get the pumpkins off the ground
(Fields of green) Get the pumpkins into town
(Fields of green) Get the pumpkins off the ground
(Fields of Green) Get the pumpkins in here

Thirteen weeks, thirteen weeks
They been plantin’ them pumpkins for thirteen weeks
I know somebody payin’ top dollar to rake all his leaves
The biggest gourd in town, well, is probably his
You will see ’em in the market every October
Hauled by a trucker that’s barely been sober
He was supposed to drink some apple cider on that Monday
He got all lit up drunk like nitro on that Monday
He walkin’ around lookin’ like Psycho on that Monday
Shoulda’ got that gourd that’s ripened on that Monday (Monday)
If you like Halloween, holler we want pumpkins
WE WANT PUMPKINS, Yeah!
They’re really good for makin’ pies
Both for girls and guys, better recognize
Thirteen weeks, thirteen weeks
Come Thanksgiving day, I’m havin’ orange cheeks

(He pick them pumpkins) I ain’t hatin’ on the gourd pickers
(In fields of green) But it’s gotta get to my store quicker
(He pick them pumpkins) I ain’t hatin’ on the gourd pickers
(In fields of green) But it’s gotta get to my store quicker
(Fields of green) Get the pumpkins off the ground
(Fields of green) Get the pumpkins into town
(Fields of green) Get the pumpkins off the ground
(Fields of Green) Get the pumpkins in here

I ain’t hatin’ on the gourd pickers, no sirree
You want to carve a gourd, but them knives ain’t free
You got out to your front lawn, there’s the leaves
There’s logs in the back, you gotta use ’em this week
But while it’s chilly, watch ’em
They gon’ fall off the branch like they did in Boston
It’s autumn tradition, baby, see with your eyes
In lieu of changin’ winds,  it’s all in the skies
So, let’s realize
That pumpkins come callin’ at discount price
And they gon’ keep rollin’ and flyin’
All day and night-er
And that autumn chill will leave you runnin’ for that cider
(Fields of green) Get the pumpkins off the ground
(Fields of green) Get the pumpkins into town
(Fields of green) Get the pumpkins off the ground
(Fields of Green) Get the pumpkins in town
Let me hear that, Jack?

Oh noes! It’s Pumpkin-zilla!

Just kidding.

One-of-a-kind pumpkin. Courtesy: AP.

But the pumpkin grown on an Illinois farm could be worth some serious coin. Usually, pumpkins, after they’re grown, are round and orange. However, farmers were amazed when this one sported a weird color. If that don’t say “Happy Halloween,” nothing will. But think of it: how many pumpkin pies can you make out of this exquisite behemoth of a jack-o-lantern for Thanksgiving? This is one jack-o-lantern that’ll make Charlie Brown proud… sorta.