Tag Archives: parody

You’re a Mean One, Mr. Trump

You’re a Mean One, Mr. Trump
(a Parody of “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch)

You’re a mean one, Mr. Trump
You really are a schmuck
You’re as lovely as poison ivy
You’re as graceful as a duck
Mr. Tru-ump
When it comes to helping the poor, you just don’t give a fuck!

You’re a nut job, Mr. Trump
Your heart’s a bottomless hole
Your mouth is full of bullshit
You’ve got a brain made out of coal
Mr. Tru-ump
I wouldn’t touch you with an 18 3/4 foot pole

You’re a vile one, Mr. Trump
You have evil in your smirk
You have all the warmth and kindness of a whiskey drunken jerk
Mr. Tru-ump
Given the choice between the two of you, I’d take the whisky drunken jerk!

You’re a stinker, Mr. Trump
You’re a nasty, wasty runt
Not sure where that toupée has been
But you’re pulling quite a stunt
Mr. Tru-ump
The one word of the town you tried to tax, one word on whether you can, and one word to describe you are…
Kent, can’t, cunt!

You’re an asshat, Mr. Trump
You’re the king of drama queens
Your heart’s a smelly rotten pot with moldy collard greens
Mr. Tru-ump
You’re soul is the equivalent of a mind-fucking spoiled brat who whines, shouts, and pouts in order to get his way after being told no repeatedly…. in short, a kid who kicks and screams!

You infuriate me, Mr. Trump
Like a furious super sleaze
You’re a crooked wicked wacko
You bring lions to their knees
Mr. Tru-ump
You’re a four decker e-coli meat and horseradish sandwich…. with six-month-old cheese!

The Most Wonderful Time for a Beard

Parody of “The Most Wonderful Time of the Year”

It’s the most wonderful time for a beard
With those six months of swelling
And everyone telling
Gee, you look so weird
It’s teh most wonderful time of a beard
It’s the hair-hairiest season of all

With that winter cold bravin’
No I ain’t been shaving
Since early this fall
It’s the hair-hairiest season of all

There’ll be brushes for grooming
And mirrors from zooming
Those whiskers of hair that will grow
There’ll be razors I won’t use
And leftover hair booze
From Christmases a long time ago

It’s the most wonderful time for a beard
With that bouquet collecting
And people respecting
A face to be feared
It’s the most wonderful time for a beard

There’ll be mane pics for boasting
And trimmers for coasting
And no one will ever not know

It’s too cold to be shaven
When I’m in New Haven
So out of the building I go

It’s the most wonderful time for a beard
It’s so hard to remember
Since early September
Those whiskers appeared
It’s the most wonderful time
It’s the most wonderful time
It’s the most wonderful time
For a beard!

The Devil Went Down to… Florida?

Here is my parody of the Charlie Daniels Band’s “The Devil Went Down to Georgia,” just in time for the 2012 election.

The Devil went down to Florida, he was lookin’ for some votes to steal
He was in a bind, ’cause he’s lost his mind
And was willing to make a deal
Then he came across this young man
Saw him at the pole booth and makin’ it right
Then the Devil jumped upon the fifty-foot humps and said “Boy, let me tell you what.
I guess you didn’t know this, but I’m a votin’ maven too
But, kid, I fear this ‘lection here might get the best of you
Now you done been eatin’ your Skittles, boy, but give the Devil his due
I’d bet 180 votes against your pol ’cause I think mine’s better for you.”
Johnny said, “I am a liberal, and it might be a sin
But you shall regret the biggest one yet, ’cause my candidate’s gonna win”

John Q. Voter rocked the poles and fought this battle hard
Cause hell’s broke loose in Florida and our country’s got some heart
And if we win, you’ll get this precious country full of gold
And if we lose, you’re gonna get Rick-Rolled!

The devil looked him up his face and said, “Let’s start this show.”
As fire in his eyelids had quickly started to grow
Then the devil grew an evil look whenever he got pissed
And a band of daemons joined in and it sounded something like this

When the Devil finished, Johnny said, “Well, you’re pretty good, ol’ son.
Now get from behind them poles right there, I’mma show you how it’s done”
Fire on the Mountain off Route 1
The Devil’s in the house of the rising sun
Sittin’ in the kitchen, countin’ out votes
Granny, can you dog drive? No, child, no

The Devil finally would cave in and take his big defeat
When he’d realized his candidate already had been beat
Johnny said, “Devil, just come on back if you ever want to try again
Or then just give up, you son of a bitch, ’cause the best’ll forever win.”

He played: Fire on the Mountain off Route 1
The Devil’s in the house of the rising sun
Sittin’ in the kitchen, countin’ out votes
Granny, can your dog drive? No, child, no

Gourd Picker

A “Gold Digger” parody, just in time for fall. Sorry, Kanye.

He pick them pumpkins
In fields of green
Yeah, he’s a harvesting machine
Oh, he’s a gourd picker
Straight from the town
Of Chicopee

(He pick them pumpkins) I ain’t hatin’ on the gourd pickers
(In fields of green) But it’s gotta get to my store quicker
(He pick them pumpkins) I ain’t hatin’ on the gourd pickers
(In fields of green) But it’s gotta get to my store quicker
(Fields of green) Get the pumpkins off the ground
(Fields of green) Get the pumpkins into town
(Fields of green) Get the pumpkins off the ground
(Fields of Green) Get the pumpkins in here

Thirteen weeks, thirteen weeks
They been plantin’ them pumpkins for thirteen weeks
I know somebody payin’ top dollar to rake all his leaves
The biggest gourd in town, well, is probably his
You will see ’em in the market every October
Hauled by a trucker that’s barely been sober
He was supposed to drink some apple cider on that Monday
He got all lit up drunk like nitro on that Monday
He walkin’ around lookin’ like Psycho on that Monday
Shoulda’ got that gourd that’s ripened on that Monday (Monday)
If you like Halloween, holler we want pumpkins
WE WANT PUMPKINS, Yeah!
They’re really good for makin’ pies
Both for girls and guys, better recognize
Thirteen weeks, thirteen weeks
Come Thanksgiving day, I’m havin’ orange cheeks

(He pick them pumpkins) I ain’t hatin’ on the gourd pickers
(In fields of green) But it’s gotta get to my store quicker
(He pick them pumpkins) I ain’t hatin’ on the gourd pickers
(In fields of green) But it’s gotta get to my store quicker
(Fields of green) Get the pumpkins off the ground
(Fields of green) Get the pumpkins into town
(Fields of green) Get the pumpkins off the ground
(Fields of Green) Get the pumpkins in here

I ain’t hatin’ on the gourd pickers, no sirree
You want to carve a gourd, but them knives ain’t free
You got out to your front lawn, there’s the leaves
There’s logs in the back, you gotta use ’em this week
But while it’s chilly, watch ’em
They gon’ fall off the branch like they did in Boston
It’s autumn tradition, baby, see with your eyes
In lieu of changin’ winds,  it’s all in the skies
So, let’s realize
That pumpkins come callin’ at discount price
And they gon’ keep rollin’ and flyin’
All day and night-er
And that autumn chill will leave you runnin’ for that cider
(Fields of green) Get the pumpkins off the ground
(Fields of green) Get the pumpkins into town
(Fields of green) Get the pumpkins off the ground
(Fields of Green) Get the pumpkins in town
Let me hear that, Jack?

Louise Stole My Dog

It’s that time of year again! Christmas. Hanukkah. Kwanzaa. Take your pick. Well, here is a parody of “Feliz Navidad (I Want to Wish You a Merry Christmas)” by José Feliciano. Enjoy!

Louise stole my dog
Louise stoel my dog
Louise stole my dog
‘Cause I saw him riding in her brand new car
Louise stole my dog
Louise stoel my dog
Louise stole my dog
‘Cause I saw him riding in her brand new car

I won’t get to see him for Christmas
I wonder how much he’ll really miss us
I won’t get to see him for Christmas
And I think it’s so messed up
I won’t get to see him for Christmas
Not for all the hugs and kisses
I won’t get to see him for Christmas
And it really piss me off

Louise stole my dog
Louise stole my dog
Louise stole my dog
‘Cause I saw him riding in her brand new car
Louise stole my dog
Louise stole my dog
Louise stole my dog
‘Cause I saw him riding in her brand new car

I know he’s gonna miss our Christmas
Why’d she ever have to diss us?
He’s really gonna miss this Christmas
And it really makes me sad
I won’t get to see him for Christmas
Neither will the kids or missus
He’s really gonna miss this Christmas
I think that woman has gone mad

Louise stole my dog
Louise stole my dog
Louise stole my dog
When I saw him riding in her brand new car.

Lemon Sloe! (“Let it Snow!” parody)

Well, the weather outside was frightening,
But the drinks felt so enlightening,
‘Cause chugging’s the only way to go,
Lemon sloe, lemon sloe, lemon sloe!

And it doesn’t show signs of stopping,
Which keeps parties always popping,
And I don’t wanna leave, oh no,
Lemon sloe, lemon sloe, lemon sloe!

When it’s finally mixed up right,
It’ll help keep me out of the storm,
And putting it on ice day and night
Keeps the drink from getting too warm

And your friends will all keep spying,
But it’s them who will be buying,
But as long as the gin would flow,
Lemon sloe, lemon sloe, lemon sloe!

And your friends will all keep spying,
But it’s them who will be buying,
But as long as the gin would flow,
Lemon sloe, lemon sloe, lemon sloe!
Lemon sloe…..lemon sloe…..lemon sloe!

Crack My Balls

This is a parody of “Deck the Halls.”

Crack my balls for no good reason
Fa-la-la-la-laaa, la-la-la-la
Gettin’ screwed this Christmas season
Fa-la-la-la-laaa, la-la-la-la
Checked my mailbox for a bailout
Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la
But they threw all of my mail out
Fa-la-la-la-laaa, la-la-la-la

See the car plants fail before us
Fa-la-la-la-laaa, la-la-la-la
Wall Street’s net worth seems real porous
Fa-la-la-la-laaa, la-la-la-la
The Iraq war made us weary
Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la
Now we’re feeling very teary
Fa-la-la-laaa, la-la-la-la

Deficit’s now at ten trillion
Fa-la-la-la-laaa, la-la-la-la
While they lay off by the millions
Fa-la-la-la-laaa, la-la-la-la
Kanye should have let her finish
Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la
Healthcare re-form needs Kucinich
Fa-la-la-la-laaa, la-la-la-la.