Stupid Laws in 50 States

I’m under arrest for what?

Some laws have a merit in our society, and that merit is to make us safer. For example, there’s the “Click it or Ticket” law — you’d better have a seatbelt on when you’re inside the vehicle or it’s a $92 ticket (up from $37). But there are some laws that, um, are just plain silly. While some brown-noser wouldn’t dare rat on me for crossing the street while walking on my hands in Hartford, Connecticut, or I forget to tie up my elephant at a parking meter in Florida, one cannot be too careful… or can we?

Alabama — It’s illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church.

Alaska — You may not wake a sleeping bear for the sake of taking a photograph.

Arizona — Cutting down a cactus may result in a 25-year prison sentence.

Arkansas — Keeping an alligator in your bathtub is prohibited.

California — You may not eat an orange in your bathtub.

Colorado — It’s illegal to ride a horse under the influence.

Connecticut — You may not cross the street while walking on your hands (Hartford).

Delaware — It’s against the law to fly over any body of water, unless the plane is carrying sufficient supplies of food and drink.

Florida — If you tie an elephant to a parking meter, you must pay the same parking fee as you would for a vehicle.

Georgia — No one may carry an ice cream cone in their back pocket on Sunday.

Hawaii — It’s illegal to place a coin in your ear.

Idaho — A man must not give his sweetheart a box of candy weighing less than 50 pounds.

Illinois — It’s illegal to fly a kite within the city limits (Chicago).

Indiana — Grocery stores may not sell any type of cold liquor.

Iowa — A man with a moustache is prohibited from kissing a woman in public, even his wife.

Kansas — You may not catch a fish with your bare hands.

Kentucky — Every citizen is required to take a shower once a year.

Louisiana — Biting someone with your natural teeth is simple assault, while biting someone with your false teeth is aggravated assault.

Maine — If you keep your Christmas decorations up after January 14, you’ll be fined.

Maryland — City code prohibits the sale of chicks and ducklings to minors within one week of the Easter holiday (Baltimore).

Massachusetts — All men must carry a rifle to church on Sunday.

Michigan — A woman isn’t allowed to cut her own hair without her husband’s permission.

Minnesota — Public ordinance outlaws placing tacks on a sidewalk (Minnetonka).

Mississippi — It’s forbidden for a man to seduce a woman by lying, and claiming he will marry her.

Missouri — Although children may buy shotguns in Kansas City, the purchase of toy cap guns is prohibited.

Montana — No worrying of squirrels is allowed (Excelsior Springs).

Nebraska — If a child burps during church, his or her parents may be arrested.

Nevada — You may not drive a camel on the highway.

New Hampshire — You may not sell the clothes you’re wearing to pay off a gambling debt.

New Jersey — It’s forbidden to frown on a police officer.

New Mexico — Females may not appear unshaven in public.

New York — Flirting in public can earn you a $25 fine.

North Carolina — It’s against the law to sing off-key.

North Dakota — It’s illegal to fall asleep with your shoes on.

Ohio — The state’s driver’s education manual states that you must honk the horn when you pass another car.

Oklahoma — It’s against the law to take a bite out of another person’s hamburger.

Oregon — You may not pump your own gas.

Pennsylvania — It’s illegal to sleep on top of a refrigerator outdoors.

Rhode Island — Biting off another person’s leg will not be tolerated.

South Carolina — You may not eat a watermelon in the Magnolia Street cemetery (Spartanburg).

South Dakota — No horses are allowed into Fountain Inn unless they’re wearing pants.

Tennessee — You’re not allowed to share a pie with your fellow diners (Memphis).

Texas — It’s illegal to milk another person’s cow.

Utah — It is illegal NOT to drink milk.

Vermont — Women may not wear false teeth without her husband’s written permission.

Virginia — It is illegal to drive while not wearing shoes.

Washington — It is forbidden to buy meat of any kind on Sunday.

West Virginia — If you make fun of someone who does not accept a challenge, you risk a six-month prison sentence.

Wisconsin — Margarine may not be substituted for butter in restaurants unless the customer requests it.

Wyoming — Using a firearm to fish is strictly prohibited.

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