50 Ways to Leave Your Lover

I was jonesin’ around the Internet and have stumbled upon a clip of Paul Simon’s “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover”. He only gives you like four ways in the entire song (click here for lyrics). For example:

There are 50 ways to leave your lover
You just flip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don’t need to be coy, Roy
Just get yourself free

Excuse me?!! Only 50 ways to leave your lover?!! Bullshit! I’ve got some more:

•  Get another job, Bob.

• Time to shave, Dave.

• Drop your pants, Lance.

• Send her to the warden, Jordan.

• Tell her you’re a geek, Zeke.

• Spray-paint her hair, Claire.

• Piss on her feet, Pete.

• Cheat on him with a sailor, Taylor.

• Kick him in the leg, Peg.

• Feed him to the fish, Trish.

• Keep her cryin’, Brian.