This is a made-up eulogy of the Hostess Twinkie. Enjoy, bitches!!!
The Hostess Twinkie, 82 – Born in 1930 to James Alexander Dewar of the Continental Baking Company, who also goes by Twinkie the Kid, has departed his life on Friday, November 16, 2012 in an undisclosed U.S. territory due to complications of union greed.
Known to put a smile to every crying kid in America, Twinkie the Kid wrangled the evil bakery burglars with his lasso. Twinkie was also known to survive the apocalypse and suppress the “munchies” for those who smoke pot.
Twinkie the Kid leaves to mourn: his competitors Little Debbie, Tasty Kake, Drake’s Coffee Cake, and the Entenmann children.
This is definitely sad news even if you are not a Whitney Houston fan. Whitney Houston known for her hit “Exhale” and her rendition of Dolly Parton’s “I Will Always Love You” died today at the age of 48. Below is one of the video of one of her songs, “Saving All My Love for You.”
Amy Winehouse has been found dead Saturday afternoon at 3:54 p.m. London time at just 27 years old. Though her cause of death is yet to be determined, she struggled part of her to stay sober, including saying “no, no, no” to rehab.
With her untimely death at age 27, she joins the “27 Club” with the likes of Jim Morrison (1970), Janis Joplin (1970) , Jimi Hendrix (1971), and Kurt Cobain (1994) who also died at age 27.
You knew him as the spokesperson of Slim Jim. You watched him on the WWE (when it was the WWF, or World Wrestling Federation) along with Hulk Hogan and Bam Bam Bigelow. And he’s famous for coining the phrase “Ooooh, yeah!” Randy “Macho Man” Savage died in a car crash today. He was just 58.
Here is one of his appearances on the Slim Jim commercials.
Dwayne McDuffie, a former writer of Marvel Comics and later founder of Milestone Media, died Monday night, the day after his 49th birthday. Not only did he break barriers to become the first black comic writer of all time, but he introduced us to the DC Universe characters such as Static, Icon, and Xombi. May he rest in peace.
John Barry, Oscar winner and composer of the theme from several James Bond movies, died in his home in London. He was 77. Below is one of his works — a theme from James Bond’s “From Russia With Love.” This theme was later used as the news theme on KYW-TV, now CBS 3 in Philadelphia.
Leslie Nielson died late this weekend. His movie career started when he co-starred with Robert Hays in Airplane! in 1980. He was 84 years old.