Tag Archives: Christmas Carols

You’re a Mean One, Mr. Trump

You’re a Mean One, Mr. Trump
(a Parody of “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch)

You’re a mean one, Mr. Trump
You really are a schmuck
You’re as lovely as poison ivy
You’re as graceful as a duck
Mr. Tru-ump
When it comes to helping the poor, you just don’t give a fuck!

You’re a nut job, Mr. Trump
Your heart’s a bottomless hole
Your mouth is full of bullshit
You’ve got a brain made out of coal
Mr. Tru-ump
I wouldn’t touch you with an 18 3/4 foot pole

You’re a vile one, Mr. Trump
You have evil in your smirk
You have all the warmth and kindness of a whiskey drunken jerk
Mr. Tru-ump
Given the choice between the two of you, I’d take the whisky drunken jerk!

You’re a stinker, Mr. Trump
You’re a nasty, wasty runt
Not sure where that toupée has been
But you’re pulling quite a stunt
Mr. Tru-ump
The one word of the town you tried to tax, one word on whether you can, and one word to describe you are…
Kent, can’t, cunt!

You’re an asshat, Mr. Trump
You’re the king of drama queens
Your heart’s a smelly rotten pot with moldy collard greens
Mr. Tru-ump
You’re soul is the equivalent of a mind-fucking spoiled brat who whines, shouts, and pouts in order to get his way after being told no repeatedly…. in short, a kid who kicks and screams!

You infuriate me, Mr. Trump
Like a furious super sleaze
You’re a crooked wicked wacko
You bring lions to their knees
Mr. Tru-ump
You’re a four decker e-coli meat and horseradish sandwich…. with six-month-old cheese!

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The Most Wonderful Time for a Beard

Parody of “The Most Wonderful Time of the Year”

It’s the most wonderful time for a beard
With those six months of swelling
And everyone telling
Gee, you look so weird
It’s teh most wonderful time of a beard
It’s the hair-hairiest season of all

With that winter cold bravin’
No I ain’t been shaving
Since early this fall
It’s the hair-hairiest season of all

There’ll be brushes for grooming
And mirrors from zooming
Those whiskers of hair that will grow
There’ll be razors I won’t use
And leftover hair booze
From Christmases a long time ago

It’s the most wonderful time for a beard
With that bouquet collecting
And people respecting
A face to be feared
It’s the most wonderful time for a beard

There’ll be mane pics for boasting
And trimmers for coasting
And no one will ever not know

It’s too cold to be shaven
When I’m in New Haven
So out of the building I go

It’s the most wonderful time for a beard
It’s so hard to remember
Since early September
Those whiskers appeared
It’s the most wonderful time
It’s the most wonderful time
It’s the most wonderful time
For a beard!