Tag Archives: airport security


When traveling during the big Thanksgiving rush, if you find yourself being inappropriately touched by an airport security agent, the “Underwear Bomber” may have been to blame.

The Transportation Security Administration, or TSA, unveiled a full-body scan as part of airports’ security systems to detect prohibited items before passengers attempt to board their flight. I think airport security is a good idea, but the TSA has taken it waaaaay too far. First of all, you’re supposed to keep your privates… well, private. And another thing, who puts a bomb in their underwear?

If neither the metal detectors nor the full-body scanners give the all-clear sign, then the TSA agent may have the right to do a pat-down search. And yes, groping will be involved. Woah! Them TSA voyeurs are a bunch of sick fucks as far as I’m concerned — excuse my French, garçon. As creepy as it sounds, these new security measures are supposed to keep us safe, right? Wrong. We can’t bring our jumbo-size liquids on board anymore. We’ve got to take off our shows. Now they expect us to bare it all before the doors to the airport even open in front of us. What is this world coming to?


Flyin’ Now Even Less Fun

You thought the security at the airport couldn’t get any tighter.

It all started when that nutjob tried to blow up American Airlines Flight 63 with a bomb in his shoe. Now we’ll all have to remove our shoes at the airport. Honestly, like a woman is gonna blow up a pair of shoes! Then liquids in large containers were no longer allowed. Say goodbye to the 14 oz bottle of shampoo because now you’ve got to buy a teensy, tiny, little bottle of shampoo for 10 times the price. How extreme!

But the nation’s airlines’ security was tested again when a passenger with Al Qaeda ties suspiciously snuck into American Airlines Flight 253 in Detroit with a bomb in his underwear Christmas morning.

Now, you can’t even go to the bathroom an hour before landing. And don’t even think about using your laptop, even if you don’t have one. And pillows…forget them. So from now on, we’re having to put up with overpriced trial-size toiletries, sit down during a flight from the time the plane takes off to the time it lands, and have an uncomfortable flight altogether. I think TSA stands for “Torturing Scared Americans.”

Seriously, how can any liquid be made into a bomb!? Are the TSA agents assuming that we’re all chemists and, therefore, could possibly commit a terrorist attack?