Decaf

Decaf (a parody of “Rehab” by Amy Winehouse)

They tried to make me go for decaf, I said no, no, no
If it’s real whack, I’ll send it right back, like whoa, whoa, whoa
I ain’t got the time, and though I’d rather drink some wine
They tried to make me go for decaf, don’t think so, so, so!

I’d rather eat a jar of mayonnaise
I don’t like that aftertaste
I was runnin’, runnin’ down on Peachtree
Had time to burn that given Saturday
I didn’t sleep that much in class
But that decaf cup can kiss my black ass

They tried to make me go for decaf, I said no, no, no
Just pour me a Jack, I’ll make some light snacks, fo’ sho, sho, sho
Decaf tastes like slime, and it should really be a crime
They tried to make me go for decaf, I won’t go, go, go!

The man said, “What do you think ’bout beer?”
I said, “Ain’t got any here”
“And the people, the people call me crazy
So I always keep that java near.”
He said, “Let’s just drink for the best.”
This me, “One-eighty, and the rest”

They tried to make me go for decaf, I said no, no, no
Even if I’m on crack, it wouldn’t mean jack, you know, know, know

I can’t never really drink again
I just ooooh want this curse to end
I’m not gonna spend twelve dollars
Have everyone think I’ve gone the trend
It’s not that I’m fried
It’s just till these beans have dried

They tried to make me go for decaf, I said no, no, no
If it’s real whack, I’ll send it right back, like whoa, whoa, whoa
Full caf will be mine, and if the barista thinks I’m fine
She’s tried to make me go for decaf, I won’t go, go, go!

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