Warning: Stride Mega Mystery Gum

STOP!! Do NOT reveal the Mystery Flavor under any circumstances.

As if the fuckers from Stride Gum hadn’t threatened to find me enough, the Mega Mystery flavor hit store shelves last month (and you better spit it out right now!). Instead of the traditional “S” logo, a question mark appears… to prove a point, and that point is the flavor will keep you guessing. But I must warn you…..you are not allowed to reveal the Stride mega mystery flavor. If you do a team of Stride bouncers will find you and give you a beatdown you’ll never forget.

Hmmmm…. didn’t Kool-Aid think of this before? I mean, minus the threat to beat the shit out of anyone who reveals the mystery flavor. Seriously, Stride-stalkers, you need to stop sipping on that sizzyrup. Good luck trying to beat the lawsuit hanging over your heads. How you like them apples, bitch!!!!

Stride Gum executives can be such stalkers. Sheesh!!

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