1926 – 2012

The Devil went down to Florida, he was lookin’ for some votes to steal
He was in a bind, ’cause he’s lost his mind
And was willing to make a deal
Then he came across this young man
Saw him at the pole booth and makin’ it right
Then the Devil jumped upon the fifty-foot humps and said “Boy, let me tell you what.
I guess you didn’t know this, but I’m a votin’ maven too
But, kid, I fear this ‘lection here might get the best of you
Now you done been eatin’ your Skittles, boy, but give the Devil his due
I’d bet 180 votes against your pol ’cause I think mine’s better for you.”
Johnny said, “I am a liberal, and it might be a sin
But you shall regret the biggest one yet, ’cause my candidate’s gonna win”

John Q. Voter rocked the poles and fought this battle hard
Cause hell’s broke loose in Florida and our country’s got some heart
And if we win, you’ll get this precious country full of gold
And if we lose, you’re gonna get Rick-Rolled!

The devil looked him up his face and said, “Let’s start this show.”
As fire in his eyelids had quickly started to grow
Then the devil grew an evil look whenever he got pissed
And a band of daemons joined in and it sounded something like this

When the Devil finished, Johnny said, “Well, you’re pretty good, ol’ son.
Now get from behind them poles right there, I’mma show you how it’s done”
Fire on the Mountain off Route 1
The Devil’s in the house of the rising sun
Sittin’ in the kitchen, countin’ out votes
Granny, can you dog drive? No, child, no

The Devil finally would cave in and take his big defeat
When he’d realized his candidate already had been beat
Johnny said, “Devil, just come on back if you ever want to try again
Or then just give up, you son of a bitch, ’cause the best’ll forever win.”

He played: Fire on the Mountain off Route 1
The Devil’s in the house of the rising sun
Sittin’ in the kitchen, countin’ out votes
Granny, can your dog drive? No, child, no

The towns that didn’t take the brunt of Tropical Storm Irene were felled by Winter Storm Alfred. The cause? Trees. Shitloads of trees in our great state. The freak winter storm occurred one weekend ago, on the heels of Halloween. While the leaves were still on the trees, and we’d have a somewhat mild autumn season and too much moisture and precipitation, the storm came crashing in like an uninvited guest we kicked out, telling him to go away. What we need to realize is we’ve pissed off Mother Nature one too many times, and at some point, we’re going to have to face the consequences.

If you can remember back in late August/early September after Irene, you will understand why trees are the problem with the power lines. One sudden impact with the trees can knock out power for hundreds of thousands. If it wasn’t the heavy rains that damage the trees, it was the wind gusts of over 50 miles per hour. That being said, New London was more likely to receive wind damage and Colebrook was more likely to experience heavy downpours.

CL&P President Jeff Butler promised to put 99 percent of its customers back online by tonight at midnight, but like the rest of us in Connecticut, Gov. Dannel Malloy seemed skeptical. With about 100,000 customers still without power and, in some cases, without heat, CL&P is going to have to work extra fast to reach that 99-percent target, and Gov. Malloy will be pushing him to ensure that that happens. So the rule of thumb is, if you still are without power as of 10 a.m. today, hang in there because help is on the way.

BTW I’d like mine with extra cheese… if you please.

He pick them pumpkins
In fields of green
Yeah, he’s a harvesting machine
Oh, he’s a gourd picker
Straight from the town
Of Chicopee

(He pick them pumpkins) I ain’t hatin’ on the gourd pickers
(In fields of green) But it’s gotta get to my store quicker
(He pick them pumpkins) I ain’t hatin’ on the gourd pickers
(In fields of green) But it’s gotta get to my store quicker
(Fields of green) Get the pumpkins off the ground
(Fields of green) Get the pumpkins into town
(Fields of green) Get the pumpkins off the ground
(Fields of Green) Get the pumpkins in here

Thirteen weeks, thirteen weeks
They been plantin’ them pumpkins for thirteen weeks
I know somebody payin’ top dollar to rake all his leaves
The biggest gourd in town, well, is probably his
You will see ‘em in the market every October
Hauled by a trucker that’s barely been sober
He was supposed to drink some apple cider on that Monday
He got all lit up drunk like nitro on that Monday
He walkin’ around lookin’ like Psycho on that Monday
Shoulda’ got that gourd that’s ripened on that Monday (Monday)
If you like Halloween, holler we want pumpkins
WE WANT PUMPKINS, Yeah!
They’re really good for makin’ pies
Both for girls and guys, better recognize
Thirteen weeks, thirteen weeks
Come Thanksgiving day, I’m havin’ orange cheeks

(He pick them pumpkins) I ain’t hatin’ on the gourd pickers
(In fields of green) But it’s gotta get to my store quicker
(He pick them pumpkins) I ain’t hatin’ on the gourd pickers
(In fields of green) But it’s gotta get to my store quicker
(Fields of green) Get the pumpkins off the ground
(Fields of green) Get the pumpkins into town
(Fields of green) Get the pumpkins off the ground
(Fields of Green) Get the pumpkins in here

I ain’t hatin’ on the gourd pickers, no sirree
You want to carve a gourd, but them knives ain’t free
You got out to your front lawn, there’s the leaves
There’s logs in the back, you gotta use ‘em this week
But while it’s chilly, watch ‘em
They gon’ fall off the branch like they did in Boston
It’s autumn tradition, baby, see with your eyes
In lieu of changin’ winds,  it’s all in the skies
So, let’s realize
That pumpkins come callin’ at discount price
And they gon’ keep rollin’ and flyin’
All day and night-er
And that autumn chill will leave you runnin’ for that cider
(Fields of green) Get the pumpkins off the ground
(Fields of green) Get the pumpkins into town
(Fields of green) Get the pumpkins off the ground
(Fields of Green) Get the pumpkins in town
Let me hear that, Jack?

The Row backpack.

It is still early in the back-to-school season, and what better way to go back to school — in style, no less — than a $39,000 backpack from The Row, once owned by Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen?

Yes, you heard right. 39,000 bones.

Here’s the thing. Who in their right mind would spend $39,000 of their hard earned money to buy a backpack, knowing they can’t afford it? True, it’s made of alligator skin (or was it crocodile?) and it originally sells for $35,000. But when it breaks the bank, it REALLY breaks the bank. I ain’t never going to bitch about the cost of a Gucci murse, that’s for sure.

The Row’s backpack has been on the market since July, and not even the Olsen twins can keep up with the demand. But here’s the kicker. The economy’s in the toilet, approximately 1 in 10 people can’t find a job, and we’re dealing with not one, but two wars in the Middle East. For the love of Pete, light a fire already so people can start working again. And afford to buy the haute couture.

Ahhh... Fall

Apple cider. Fairs. Pumpkins and their pies. That nip in the air. All those could mean only one thing: it’s Fall.

It is difficult to appreciate the fall season as winter and summer get all the attention. In stores, the Ben & Jerry’s Pumpkin Cheesecake are well in stock. Dunkin’ Donuts wants you to fall for the fall favorites like the hot or iced apple cider and their pumpkin variety such as pumpkin latte.  And since it’s October, they’re selling pumpkin…  whatevers like hotcakes. They’ll even sell those through Thanksgiving.

But the one question that’s been burning in my mind: Why do they call it Oktoberfest if it happens in September?