Letter to Santa by Little Johnny

Poor Little Johnny. He wrote an angry letter to Santa Claus to express how much he was screwed the past Christmas. Enjoy! ;)

Dear Santa,

You must be surprised that I’m writing to you today, the 26th of December. Well, I would very much like to clear up certain things that have occurred since the beginning of the month, when, with illusion, I wrote you my letter. I asked for a bicycle, an electic train set, a pair of roller blades, and a football uniform. I destroyed my brain studying the whole year. Not only was I the first in my class, but I had the best grades in the whole school. I’m not gonna lie to you, there was no one in my entire neighborhood that behaved better than me, with my parents, my brothers, my friends, and with my neighbors. I would go on errands, and even help the elderly cross the street. There was virtually nothing within reach that I would not do for humanity. What balls you have leaving me a fuckin’ yo-yo, a lame-ass whistle and a pair of ugly socks! What the fuck were you thinking, you fat prick, that you’ve taken me for a sucker the whole fucking year to come out with some shit like THIS under the tree?! As if you hadn’t fucked me enough, you gave that little quiff across the street so many toys that he cannot even walk into his house! I’m warning you, Santa! Don’t let me see you trying to fit your fat ass down my chimney next year. I swear I will fuck you up. I’ll throw rocks at those stupid reindeer and scare them away so you’ll have to walk back to the fucking North Pole…just like what I have to do now since you didn’t get me that fucking bike. FUCK YOU, SANTA!! Maybe next year, you’ll find out how bad I can REALLY be, YOU FAT COCK-SUCKER!!!


Little Johnny

One response to “Letter to Santa by Little Johnny

  1. Dr. Tracy M. Baker

    Me thinks little Johnny was a little steamed up! I would be too if I got treated that way. But me, I don’t ask for lame stuff like bicycle, roller blades, etc. I just asked Santa to leave me his list of all the bad girls and where they live. Actually, last year a mall Santa got fired after being asked by a little kid why he was always so jolly. Santa replied “It’s because I know where all the bad girls live.” So I just asked him to share the list with me.

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